i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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