I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
