everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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