It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
