You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
