In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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