Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize