this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize