I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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