when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
