Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
