tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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