god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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