Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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