I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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