My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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