he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
