Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
