in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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