considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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