Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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