What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
