Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Operation Purity has been aborted
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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