Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize