it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
