He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
