Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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