i think my mom watched the whole time
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
