Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize