I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
