hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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