if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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