pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
