I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
