did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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