I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
