i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
