Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
