After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
