And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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