i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Green mimosas i think yes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
