i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This is my gift to your gina
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize