If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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