Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
