That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
