Christians are straight up FREAKS
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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