Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
