1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I believe in your delicious
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
