Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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