My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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