Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize