His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
