Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
