He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He did a backflip because drugs
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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