So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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