I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
