By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
