Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
