they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
