Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
