Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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