My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
