when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
