allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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