I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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