You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
