Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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