My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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